drink this and you’ll grow wings on your feet Or, perhaps, sing along with Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band along with 80,000 others at Wembley Stadium on a stunning summer night.
This time four years ago I was finishing up my GCSE exams. Way ahead at the end of the summer I was due to leave all of my close friends behind to start at a new school almost three times the size of my secondary school for sixth form, and sixteen-year-old me wasn’t entirely sure how to process that.
My first year at university is now over. Originally, I planned this post as a ‘highlights reel’ – listing off some of my favourite moments from what promised to be an extraordinary year. That isn’t what you’ll find below. Instead, following on from my recent comment piece about student mental health, I want to be entirely honest about my difficult university experience. This piece was written on the 8th May 2016, a little over a month before the end of the academic year.
It’s been a while since I’ve written, but don’t take it personally. Things this term didn’t quite go to plan, and although I’m not in any way obligated to explain myself I feel like it’s in some way necessary in order for me to draw a line and move on, because things are going to change around here.
I’ve been cagey about how I was feeling about coming back to university and planned to talk a bit about why in Wednesday’s post, but it was such an awful day I couldn’t bring myself to write the scheduled goals and plans post – mostly because, I realised, my only goal at the moment is to make it to the end of term in one piece. Over the Easter holiday I became more and more anxious about returning to York this term, to the point of suffering panic attacks when I thought about it too much. But the holidays ended, and all of a sudden I had no choice but to pack up all my things and come back last Sunday, where I sat on my bed for a full hour wishing I’d never got in the car that morning. I’m not going to lie: it’s been a hard week.
I’ve a huge box inside my wardrobe back home overflowing with notebooks. From hardcover to softcover to ringbound to leather, in all colours and sizes and patterns, over the years I’ve collated an impressive collection. They’ve each got their own use, too, from story drafts to schoolwork to future plans. But whilst many of those are cringeworthy or pointless to look back on, the ones I always love rereading are my old diaries.
It’s about two weeks since I launched my #PrettyHealthyProject, and I have to admit that from the perspective of eating better and exercising more, it hasn’t gone particularly well. However, for me that really is only half the battle – at most. The biggest thing I have to work on is my mindset towards food, exercise and my body, and ultimately that’s where this project has to begin.
I’m now back at university, which means that my blogging routine can really take off – it got totally side-tracked in the last couple of weeks whilst I was back home! On the other hand, it’s meant that I’ve plenty to blog about, so here’s a quick run-down not just of the last week, but of my Easter holiday highlights!